• Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.eeEnglish
    200·
    9 days ago

    - “Grandpa, did you fight in WW3?”
    - “No, they wouldn’t let me enlist because I masturbated way too much. Like an immediately disqualifying amount.”

    • psmgx@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      7 days ago

      Private Cowboy: Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to get shipped out on a medical.

      Private Joker: What was the matter with him?

      Private Cowboy: He was jerkin’ off ten times a day.

      Private Eightball: No sh*t. At least ten times a day.

      Private Cowboy: Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy f***er starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division

      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.eeEnglish
        34·
        9 days ago

        You kids today are soft, back in my day there was this big war & I could only use one hand because I needed the other to fight people that wanted to evacuate me.

        Or that one time I had to hide in the attic & do it very quietly.

        Or that time I had to do it with a super bright light in my face because there was something called “an interrogation” at the camp.