Ages ago, I had the owner of a business I supported tell me I could remote into his computer any time that day, it would be available to me. I remoted in about 5 minutes after that call and he was amidst some fullscreen hardcore pornography. I respect that sort of move.
Pussy pics.
It was my mom’s computer.
That nobody else used.
That nobody else used.
Narrator: “And it should have stayed that way, but unfortunately, fate had other plans for poor u/southsamurai.”
Everyone loves cute kittens right…right?
Did you verify they were of your mom’s?
Well, I did come
Out of it, years before
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Obligatory ur mom gay
Plot twist: they were all mom’s
They most definitely were
Tonnes of CP.
Told my colleague immediately as he was at the other end of the work bench, then told my manager. They called the cops who told us to leave it alone, then immediately made their way over to confiscate the PC and take a copy of the job booking slip.
Never heard another thing about it after that. We thought we might be called as witnesses or to give statements, but nothing. The cops took a few mins with the PC when they got there, asked us to log into it and then leave the room. We figured they had enough on it and the guy probably admitted it. Never saw the customer again either, and he was a fair bit of a regular.
and he was a fair bit of a regular.
That’s the wildest part to me. You’d think if you’re into that kind of stuff you’d learn to repair your own equipment that hosts some of the most illegal content one could possess.
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ig it’s the former since he wasn’t caught during the first time or the second.
Asked by a mother to recover family photos from her deceased son’s laptop. Fortunately I noticed and removed the porn folders before passing over the USB stick.
The one thing I absolutely hate doing is getting inside my mom’s computer. She’s a heavy chain smoker and everything is covered in yellow tar.
Bros delete dead Bros porn.
Unless those were the family photos?
Banjo sounds intensify
I feel this. The most disgusting thing I’ve ever had to do was clean my chain-smoking parents’ house after their passing so we could put it up for sale. I can vividly imagine what the inside of a smoker’s PC must look like, just based on that experience.
I was sent to an office in Paris, pre-Y2K, where everyone smoked and the windows were always kept open. Every machine there was black inside.
Yes, smoking is bad for your computer.
I worked for a pipe smoker in the 90s. He left his computer uncovered. The bottom of the case was completely covered in ash. I have no idea how that computer stayed working.
Actual cp. called police right after that
Good for you!
And did they do anything about it or didn’t they, as the top comment mentions?
Somewhere I have a picture of it saved, but as a Sys Admin for an office one person had so much dead skin piled on their mouse I gagged. It formed the shape of their fingers on the buttons and the dead skin was, not exaggerating, like 4-5 millimeters thick of caked-on yellow disgustingness. Mind you, we provide new mice for people to use in the office for any reason, they just need to let us know and ask. There was no reason for this other than the person just being a Nurgle initiate or some shit. People are gross.
Sorry to inform you, but they were probably a spider with shedding their skin and all.
I don’t know if it is the kind of “worst” you were thinking about, but in a previous helpdesk job I found a text file on a users desktop with a bunch of links. Asked the user what that was for, and they used it tonremember web sites. They were star struck when I showed them that bookmarks were a thing, and added their links as bookmarks for them to get started.
Sounds like the type of person who prints their E-mails
Are you suggesting that I’ve been doing email wrong this whole time?
All the internals of one laptop I opened were really covered in oil, the fans were totally stuck and unable to spin (maybe the main reason why they sent it to us) and the whole thing really stank. I called the customer to ask how was that possible and to inform that those defects weren’t covered by our warranty and they told me it was used in a restaurant’s kitchen, and they didn’t understand why they couldn’t use it there.
Inside: Vomit + insects (cockroaches, I think). Software: The weebiest weeb setup (images, boot sounds, etc) to ever exist.
Yeah we had to institute a throw it straight into the trash policy because of pukey Chromebooks.
What is it about Chromebooks that attracts people who puke into them?
We exclusively repaired for schools, kids puke for like… no reason.
Can confirm. Once puked on carpet out of nowhere. Only years later, as an adult, did I realize just how awful it must have been for Mom to clean up. Sorry, Mom.
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As a tech, I was at a law firm to fix something on one employee’s computer. His desktop background was a nude of the female co-worker who was sitting across from him. It was a shared office with several others working in the same room.
Not that this is the only thing that matters here, but did she agree to let him use that as his background?
Pretty sure she did.
I later heard stories about how that law firm goes on vacation together once a year and they go pretty wild with booze and casual sex.
Cockroach infestation.
Self-shot nudes on the desktop.
Like, nude selfies, or nudes of someone else that the customer had shot?
Having nude selfies on your desktop would be weird. If that’s what it was, do you think they were fishing for compliments?
It was the client. I had reason to believe that she was an escort using them for online marketing. We had a number of women come through with similar situations. One guy had a bunch of nudes of women and I clocked him as likely a pimp.
That’s what I call a true customer relationship.
Not really bad, but it’s one that stuck with me: The computer owner had a bit of an obsession with David Boreanaz. Wallpaper was him with his shirt off. The desktop was cluttered with tons of image files, all him.
What year was that? It’s even weirder if it’s recent.
This was definitely the aughts.
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Lady at the company I did IT for had her work computer desktop filled with cringey memes she had made about being a “Trump Girl”, “Guns, God, Glory” “America First” etc. Her social media account was logged into on there as well and was all a bunch of boomer pro Trump memes and Religious stuff.
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Had to awkwardly tell somebody that I needed to use a different keyboard to work on their computer because theirs was so disgusting. It was filled with dandruff flakes, several of the keys stuck slightly because of the thin coating of grease from all the food they ate at their desk. Hair bits stuck up from the keys, it was absolutely nasty.
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