Scientist, Drummer, Dog Owner person.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 8th, 2023

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  • Recognized that it was part of what makes me successful and learned to control it a little. For example, when I struggled with getting things done on time, I learned to set deadlines for myself and stuck to them. I realized that I work better when I know I’m a little up against the clock, so I kind of built that in for myself. The hard part is the not moving the deadline. You can’t view it as moveable or it doesn’t work.

    I also ask myself “how long is it going to take” and most things if the answer is less than five minutes, I just try to force myself to do it and get it out of the way.

    For other recurring things I do them on a schedule. So like, every weekend there are things around the house I need to do. It doesn’t matter when I do them but I have to get them done the day I say I will. That’s the deal Iake myself and it helps.

    Those are some of my personal hacks. They don’t work for everyone but they work for me.


  • I’m in my late 30s, and I’ve been around the block so I’ll share mine. In terms of worst time being broken up with, that was my last ex prior to my wife, and she did a number on me. It was entirely my fault and all of the red flags were there and I ignored them and she’s a huge cautionary tale that I won’t go into because honestly I don’t like thinking about her. I didn’t really get a say in the breaking up, and looking back I’m so very glad it happened but it still crushed me emotionally for a long time.

    The second, and really the harder of the two, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was my longest relationship (4 years) up until my now wife (married 3 years, together 7). I met her in my early twenties. When we both graduated our programs, we’d only been together a little over a year and didn’t plan on staying together. She wasnt sure where she’d do her master’s, I wasn’t sure where I’d be working. As luck would have it though, we both ended up in the same place, and stayed together another three years. The last six months or so of that relationship I realized how completely miserable I was with everything but her. I loved her, I still do to this day and always will, but I hated my job. I hated where I lived. I hated being so far from my family and friends. And it got to a point where I needed to tell her and figure out how to move forward. So after a long work trip I spent 5 days with her and told her how I felt and she understood but she loved it where we were and wanted to stay for her PhD, which would be after another year of her current program…six more years. She was happy where she was and she could see I wasn’t happy and we talked and thought up scenario after scenario before we came to accept that we needed different things…it fuckin hurt man. We knew it couldn’t keep working without someone resenting the other and we realized life was taking us different places. We broke up 2 days in, I spent the rest of the time with her and there were many tears and lots of pain and lots of last moments together that we savored.

    It hurt so badly because nobody did anything wrong. We didn’t stop loving each other, we didn’t stop caring, nobody cheated, we didn’t grow apart so much as life pulled us in different directions. That’s probably what hurt the most, is how much I/we didn’t want to end it, but how we both realized we had to. Life happens and that’s okay, but it hurts sometimes. I am happily married now, and she is too and we’re good friends now. My wife is my best friend and I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I am happy for her and her husband is great and I can see how happy she is. I am not upset with how either of our lives turned out, but I also know there will always be some regret there.



  • I am on team work from home personally, but the reality is we will have to compromise a bit, and I think a hybrid environment is where the sweet spot is. I still work remote about 90% of the time, but realistically I think 60-80% remote, 20-40% in office is ideal and tenable for just about every work type where remote work is feasible.

    There is benefit to being in person with your colleagues, there is benefit to having a centralized area for congregating, meeting with outside stakeholders, etc. However, there is absolutely no reason to be in the office all day every day. It makes no sense. The bulk of employees spend AT LEAST 50% (rank and file probably closer to 85-90%?) of their time working alone, by themselves. Let them do that wherever the fuck they want. If the work is getting done, leave them the fuck alone and let them work in their PJs or on their couch or whatever.

    A hybrid environment also keeps your work force local and prevents us all from being outsourced. If we all insist on working remote full time then there is absolutely no reason for employers not to offer our jobs to someone living somewhere that’s cheaper to live. Sure, we could correct over time and move to a lower cost of living place to compete, but is that really what you want? Do you want to leave your home, friends, family, etc just to chase the job you already have solely because they won’t pay you what they already do to stay where you are? If you own a home do you want the value to tank as demand plummets? If your rent is cheap do you want it to skyrocket because displaced remote workers are flooding your town in a rush to capitalize?