Who knows, maybe next time that’ll be you in that statistic. Not that it’ll be a big loss for society

Governor, I hardly know her

I’m a generous tipper at sit down restaurants, but draw the line at places where I’m grabbing a prepackaged sandwich and drink and being asked to tip the employee to literally ring up the items at the cash register. I wonder if the expansion of this practice is turning people off of tipping even when it’s warranted, hence these statistics

Yes, boys… hard… Oh god, I’ve got to go sue someone now!

Science cannot move forward without heaps!

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Toss in a man’s rib, and you got a stew going

Sir, you’re just upset because you’re a head in a jar

The George W Bush Honorary Crayon Eating Department to you, you young whippersnapper

Wasn’t the appeal denied? Doesn’t he have to pay now?

Interesting read, thanks!

A pertinent quote from the article by Jonathan swift

If a lie be believed only for an hour, it has done its work

Maryland standing by

Mr Sheffield, no!

That’s true, spider man was pretty sentient in his movie

She’s loaded with meat! She’s got more meat than a cow!

Leela: Space bandidos have been operating in this quadrant so you’ll each take 8-hour shifts guarding the safe. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

Fry: Wait, hold on. I don’t like the sound of that. Let’s just go alphabetically

Leela: OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

Fry: Wait, let’s go by rank.

Leela: OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

Fry: Flexo outranks me?

Flexo: That’s “Flexo outranks me, sir”!

This

Hang in there 🐈

Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner, because I’ve won an award.

Holy cannoli in my holey