It’s media-friendly astrology

What an obscure piece of knowledge you hold. I want one.

You take that back

I have no snout yet I must oink.

Eye-mayge-een if the pronunciation of words mattered

Fuck that burger looks good

Bro just said he was German

A mother who named her daughter Gypsy Rose turned out to be unfit? If only there had been some kind of sign that she was unwell…

I have all of those ingredients except for the 10 syllable word with which you ended it.

God I hate when meme formats are completely misused.

I have a hard time seeing the left guy being inside.

If you never mess up, they’ll probably never catch you. But you are committing a felony and if you do get caught, there are consequences. I wish you the best, truly. But you are taking a risk.

It’s a very valid reason to fire you. You’ll most likely get caught when the inventory starts to be way off.

Not that I have any room to throw stones in this glass house, but have you tried water?

Lemmy is my methadone. Not interesting enough to get me hooked but just enough to keep me from going back.

I swear even the memes on here belong in comedy homicide and I see maybe one interesting article per day at most. I started carrying a kindle with me and usually just read instead of browsing. I’ve gone from a book every 2 or 3 months to a book per week.

I upvoted you seven thousand times. Someone else must have given that many downvotes which is the only explanation for why your score is not 7000.

'tis a sad day when we’re so eager to shitpost that we can’t take 5 seconds to proofread our memes.

The cat doesn’t speak.

That’s just pretentious. Oh your magic stick was exactly two pounds? The only right answer is “a little bit less than 1/4 pound”? Your stick weighted about 2 pounds, the pieces weigh about 1/4 pound. Get your wonderland shit out of here Lewis.

It’s so hot, I poured McDonald’s coffee on my lap to cool off.