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Cake day: September 28th, 2023

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  • I’ve been shaving my head and my balls with safety razors for like 15 years. Get some nice soap like sandalwood, cedar, lavender, frankincense, sasquatch or whatever name they’re calling it these days and make a lather on your body in the shower. A lather from actual soap is critical to avoiding nicks, cuts, and especially razor burn. Use a new blade and gently drag the razor across your skin. Use short strokes, not long passes. Clean the razor. Add more lather when needed. Don’t press hard or move the razor sideways or diagonally. That’s how you cut yourself. Watch out and take care for any bumps and rounded corners, like warts, the back of your jaw, or any sagittal crest you may have. Hold the razor with one hand and use the other to feel for hair and smoothness. Make a pass with the grain and another against the grain. Reapply lather between passes.

    Maybe before you begin, shave a little hair off your arm or leg to test the angle you hold the razor. The sensation of individual hairs being cut will be tactile and satisfying. When it’s right, it’ll feel right.

    Get a sharps container for used blades. It’ll take a lifetime to fill. Blades only cost like a dime, so just treat yourself and use a new one every time.

    It ain’t too difficult. Just be gentle, take short and slow strokes, feel your way around, and don’t shave dry skin. You may be surprised how easy it is. They’re called safety razors for a reason.










  • Because it was the official church doctrine they used to begin persecution of anyone charged with witchcraft in the European middle ages. It didn’t simply justify all the tortures the church is famous for; it set that ball rolling as the legal document behind it all, written by a bunch of deranged zealots. It was used to genocide the native European religions and cement the power of the church. The perfection of the art of torture, all the burnings and rigged trials, all those horrors began with that book. Anytime you hear people freaking out about witches even today, anywhere, Malleus Maleficarum is the root of it all. Throughout the centuries, it shaped the brutality of European colonialism around the globe as one of the most influential books most people never heard of. Due to the extent of colonialism, it destroyed more lives and culture, and caused more agony and torment than probably any other book ever written.

    It’s obscure, archaic, dogmatic, bloodthirsty, batshit legalese translated into Old English from Latin. These days it’s mostly of interest to particularly focused scholars, Wiccans, and edgy teens dipping their toes in. I wouldn’t expect it to be a good read.

    For maximum WTAF, throw in Demonology by King James. Yes, that King James.