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Just when the country needed a laugh the most, The Onion went and did the funniest thing they could possibly do. This is a wonderful morning.

Jesus fucking Christ. Putin must be ecstatic.

Bluesky is like the Fediverse equivalent of bumper bowling. Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely a place for it, and it’s better than staying on Twitter, but I do hope it ends up being just a stepping stone for people to get comfortable before taking off the guard rails and moving on to actual federated services like Mastodon or Lemmy.

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There’s actually been research showing that CEO and other senior executive roles tend to attract a disproportionate amount of people with psychopathic tendencies when compared to the general population.

Here’s an article about it.

Yep, that’s him. The dude hates ugly people but apparently doesn’t own a mirror. I make a point of not attacking people for their looks, because it can’t be helped, and I’m not exactly Ryan Gosling over here lol… But when you make it the core of your business, then it’s fair game. It’s almost impressive that Mike Jeffries has managed to be uglier on the inside than he is on the outside.

Yeah, Netflix released a documentary a few years ago called “White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch” that partially addressed what a fucking sleazy guy Mike Jeffries is. While it didn’t get into any claims related to this news, it definitely made it clear that he’s an asshole and solely responsible for Abercrombie’s pivot from being an outdoors oriented clothing brand to selling wildly unrealistic body standards to teenagers at malls in the 2000s. It’s been awhile, but from what I recall, nobody interviewed in the documentary had anything nice to say about him.

And the irony is, Mike Jeffries looks like Gary Busey having a bad hair day, but he would’ve taken one look at me when I was 15 and been like “I don’t want him wearing our clothes, he’s too short and he’s got acne. Gross.” That’s the kind of prick he is. He despises anyone that doesn’t meet his standard of beauty and genuinely did not want “ugly” people wearing A&F.

So I can’t say I’m all that surprised to learn he was doing much more horrific shit behind the scenes, too. And now with this news breaking, I’m just starting the count-down until he gets his own multi-part episode of Behind The Bastards.

Hard to say, he’s been dead for 94 years, but… Maybe? 🤔

The six part series was released between May 16th 2023 and June 1st 2023.

Good. I remember seeing that video back when this all happened and she’s a vile piece of shit.

Edit: This article is old but it made me laugh. If a moderator wants to remove it they can.

Dude you know for a fact now that this article is a year old and you’re not going to delete it yourself? That means you’re just deliberately continuing to spread misinformation about a food recall, and that makes you a special kind of jerk.

Go shout “fire” in a movie theater, prick.

Published on November 6th 2023.

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We’ve seen mass deportations before and when it happened American citizens were deported."

This is the terrifying reality that these fools don’t realize. Trump’s Schutzstaffel will not care about your legal status. You could be a fourth generation citizen but if your name is even vaguely Hispanic sounding you will not be spared when they start rounding people up. You will be guilty until proven innocent. It’s a serious mistake not to take MAGA at their word when they promise mass deportations.

I’ve said this elsewhere but I expect the suit will be dropped after the election because he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. This is simply a desperate attempt at damage control as his campaign continues to tank.

Everyone remotely competent quit the Monday following CNN’s story about Robinson’s past internet activities came out. His campaign manager is now Jack Burkman, who you might know as Jacob Wohl’s fellow idiot and long-time partner in crime. The two of them have made multiple comically inept attempts to frame public figures for fictitious sexual assaults, including in October 2018 against U.S. Special Counsel Robert Mueller, in April 2019 against 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, and in April 2020 against White House Coronavirus Task Force member Anthony Fauci.

So it’s not surprising he’s convinced Robinson to file a frivolous lawsuit against CNN.

Two days later, Aldama Garcia went to the Hillsborough County Animal Shelter to attempt to retrieve the dog and showed pictures as proof of ownership, according to the affidavit.

This guy isn’t just an asshole he’s a stupid asshole too. Imagine thinking there was any chance in hell an animal shelter was going to give you back the dog you left to drown while tied to a fence post in a flooded ditch during a hurricane.

Yeah, the dude got caught dead to rights. This is a poor attempt at damage control but an excellent example of the Streisand effect. Whether he wins or loses in November I expect the suit will be dropped after the election because he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

This breaks my heart, Halloween was my favorite holiday growing up and I loved these kind of events. It sounds like the kid, and some friends, were trying to scare people on a haunted hay ride and accidentally slipped under the tractor. Seems like the kind of innocent little prank that I probably would’ve tried as a kid too.

That’s such a cool idea for a Halloween costume.