“We can disappear into the world and continue to live in the shadows,” he says. “But ultimately, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
Ugh. I really wish people would quit saying this. I don’t want “visibility.” “Trans visibility” feels like an insult. I want to be invisible, and anything less is torment. Some people will never pass as the gender they identify with, but for them to prescribe their feelings on all of us is not fair.
I used to smoke. Roommate and i quit at the same time and kept each other honest. It worked out really well and we’re both still grateful to each other a decade later.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, the vast majority of people under 50 seem to be in polyamorous relationships. I’m fairly new to poly, but I’ve done a lot of reading and therapy, and it’s working out pretty well for me.
I do tend to be people’s anchor partner, so I’ve admittedly never experienced the pain that comes from being a secondary when you wish you were a primary. My anchor partner tends more towards relationship anarchy and doesn’t like hierarchical relationships, but i made it clear that my expectation is to be the priority in her life. We’ve made it work, although it takes a lot of communication.
You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s easy to say “things could never possibly be that bad” when you haven’t experienced it. I hope you never do. I’m guessing you’re a white man between 20-40, and while life hasn’t always been easy, the social contract has mostly held for you.
This is obviously a “social media manager” generating “engagement”. And look at that, it works.
That’s the thing that has always driven me crazy about our way of speaking about these things. Politicians say “we created x jobs” like it’s something to optimize for. People fear automation because it takes away their livelihoods. But, automating work and eliminating jobs should make people’s lives… better? Why doesn’t it actually? Where did the wires get crossed?
Why did we incentivize making humans suffer, at a grand societal level? Are we insane?
Not implying, just saying it. What do you think SW means?
This is normal in the United States and has been for a long time. When i was a homeless LGBT teenager trying to survive, i went to a temp agency trying to make a living some other way than SW. They sent me to this warehouse where a bunch of felons and ESL people were working in some of the most inhumane conditions i had ever seen before. 12 hour days in a 110 degree warehouse working with toxic industrial chemicals that we had no information on, with a bare minimum of PPE, intense physical labor moving large stacks of equipment, and one break at the 6 hour mark to drink water. Most of the people there had been there a while. They just had this quiet resignation and determination to survive.
I didn’t even last a single day. I started to feel heat stroke coming on around the 8 hour mark. Shivering, no more sweat, everything started to feel distant and confusing. I tried to go get water and they wouldn’t let me, so i threw all my equipment on the ground and stumbled outside to find water, and never went back. I’m white, trans, and feminine enough to survive other ways, but most of those people didn’t have any other options.
Fuck this monstrous place. I’ve been radicalized ever since seeing things like that.
Others have touched on this, but ultimately the most vital trait a person can possess is perseverance and a bias for action. I would gladly work with a mediocre person who works relentlessly at improving their skills and figuring out solutions. I don’t enjoy working with “gifted” people who have plenty of ideas and few actions to show for it. Intelligence can make you risk averse, and you’re useless if you’re too afraid to take any action.
Tbh all i saw when i joined lemmy was baby trans spaces and i blocked all of those 😐
It also has a very clear male bias, significantly more so than reddit used to.
Me (5’10") and my 5’2" gf (we are both girls)
A decade ago working at a retail store. My manager told me in a private meeting that i was expendable and he would fire me for any excuse. It’s not like i even did anything, it was just pure, spiteful power tripping. Later on i was bitching about what an asshole he is to some coworkers, and mimed him sucking the owner’s dick. I think one of my coworkers was sleeping with him, and i guess she told him. He was crying when he fired me. I feel a little bad, but also fuck that guy.
So I technically can’t punch down on Americans
Black trans women in the United States are routinely assaulted and raped and have an HIV+ rate of 60%. You sure about that?
My point is that targeting vulnerable groups for humor isn’t funny, it’s just bullying and it’s sad. It shouldn’t be a controversial point.
Carry on spending the weekend in peace. My gf and i had some amazing sex when we woke up this morning, went to the farmer’s market, went to some cute shops, did cute gay stuff like holding hands while we walked all around our city. I’m content, for the first time in my life. Dying now wouldn’t be so bad.
Or just run everything in containers and use stock ubuntu or aws Linux or whatever.
Just don’t punch down. Simple as.
When i was a teenager back in the early 00s, i went to a trans support group. It largely consisted of older transitioners, age 50+, who were not living good lives, through no fault of their own. But it was a very dark experience for me. I expected that my life would play out like theirs, and i would join the 41% club. I never thought that I’d get to experience just being a regular girl, and that part still seems surreal a decade later.
This is a common experience for young trans people seeking support. This is “trans visibility” and it harmed me profoundly. What would’ve been really nice back then were successful role models who make their trans-ness an incidental detail. We have those now, and they’re not what I’d call “visible” to cis people, although they don’t hide who they are.
I’m still waiting to find older rolemodels. Most of us are really sad when we get older. I don’t know how similar this is to the general lgbt population, but I’m concerned. My goal is to build a little family, and then just live a quiet life and keep each other close.