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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • I’m not sure it’s possible, because the different parts of women’s bodies don’t tend to scale in relation to one another. There’s the waist-to-hip ratio, thigh circumference, breast size, width of shoulders, length of torso, length of legs – none of which have much to do with each other.

    A woman can have size L shoulders, size XS breasts, size S waist, M hips, L thighs, long torso, and short legs. Another might have M shoulders, XL breasts, XXL waist, L hips, and M thighs, short torso, average length legs. And no retailer would bother making garments that account for every possible combination, because that wouldn’t be profitable. (This is why so many women with small chests and small ribcages are sold 32A bras that gap on top and ride up in back, when a properly-fitting bra would be a 28C – companies can make more money by selling less variety.)

    Men, for the most part, have more similarities in their shapes and less variety in where excess adipose tissue settles. Also, as someone else pointed out, it’s more socially acceptable for men’s clothing to fit like a sack.

    The solution, unfortunately, is alterations, either by hiring a seamstress or doing it oneself. (No judgment from me: I keep meaning to learn that skill but CBF to get a sewing machine when I might abandon the project.)





  • Ugh yes. Last time, about 4 years ago, it just felt like stretchy pressure.This time, about a week ago, the NP remarked that I was awfully dry, but even after she lubed the speculum it felt like she was trying to rip me apart.

    sex, way tmi

    (Which is honestly what any sort of penetration feels like nowadays; I can use enough lube to stain the sheets and still feel like I’m riding a roll of sandpaper. I’m only 38 ffs!)


  • I love my Altra road running shoes. My mother and sister (both work on-their-feet-all-day jobs) are also fans and can get at least a year out of their pairs. They’re sturdy and last about 300+ miles, and if you get a dud they’ll make it right. My sister once had a pair disintegrate after a couple months and got them replaced for free.

    Altra is a bit like blue cheese, though: either you love them or hate them, and both sides think the other is wrong. People with narrow forefeet find them too squishy and unsteady; those of us with wider forefeet are comfortable for the first time ever.

    Also, if your budget allows, it helps to get two pairs of shoes so you can alternate days. Especially if you live in a humid climate. By alternating two pairs of shoes so they fully dry between days, you get more than twice as much life from them. (Obviously that’s not an option for everyone, but it’s good to do if you can)




  • Contacts. I use daily disposables because I can’t feel them at all. “14-day” contacts were more like 3 days of comfort, 4 days of feeling noticeable, and 7 days of feeling like a rock in my eye. (I cleaned and soaked them daily as directed with many different types of solution, asked the optometrist for instructions, and followed their instructions exactly.) With contacts, I actually have peripheral vision. The feeling of looking past the frame/rim always gave me eye strain, and even rimless glasses couldn’t change how the blur around the edges was a constant distraction.

    I have glasses for just in case, and wear them in the evening after washing my face (which gets the contacts wet and crispy no matter how tightly I squeeze my eyes shut). But I really can’t stand glasses for more than an hour or two a day. Every pair I’ve ever worn has two modes: tight enough to stay on but give me a pressure headache, or loose enough to avoid headaches but I tense my scalp and face to keep them on and they still fall off when I look down or turn my head too quickly.





  • How many people are going to still post death threats, character assassinations, or make racist or sexist comments.

    Plenty! People like that aren’t ashamed. They’re proud to be in the group of people who actually count as human in their worldview.

    is that something we would want?

    The only effect would be to stifle everyone else. If everything you say online is tied to your real identity, many people would have to be the most bland, professional, worksona version of themselves to protect (a) their ability to earn income, and (b) their safety. People talking about their experiences with abortion would put themselves at risk of harassment, eviction, prosecution, and violence. Someone seeking support as they discern their gender identity is now outed to family, employers, people with social and/or economic power over them. When anyone from a marginalized group dares to post, it’ll be just like speaking in real life: if someone’s facts and tone are less than perfection, they (and the entire group which they’re assumed to represent) will be dismissed as intellectually inferior or too emotional.




  • The concept is interesting, but the execution is stressful just to look at. My brain already feels scrambled and chaotic inside, no way I could function with a scrambled and chaotic exterior environment. Also that pattern would hide dirt and grime so well that how would you know when the surfaces are clean? Scrub forever? Yikes.




  • Same. I like/tolerate well-trained dogs, but those are basically nonexistent these days.

    Where I live, dog culture is really strong. People here violate leash laws all the time. When you gently but firmly raise a knee to keep a big jumping dog off your chest, the owner acts like you just did a heinous crime. If you complain about not wanting to be jumped on/knocked over by a giant dog that weighs more than you do, you’ll be told to seek therapy for your phobia.

    Bad dog owners have ruined dogs for me. Training is considered taboo, something close to animal abuse. Which boggles the mind, because the psychology of dogs is such that they need training and maintenance discipline to be well-adjusted. IMO, not training your dog is animal abuse. But here we are, with untrained dogs running around bowling people over and sticking their tongues in strangers’ mouths.


  • Years of experimenting on myself would disagree. Caffeine makes me jittery, scattered, and kind of an a-hole in regular amounts. When it comes to coffee, my sweet spot is a single mug of 1/10 caf.

    Not all stimulants are the same. If they were, Ritalin and Adderall would be interchangeable. But many people, including me, find that only one of those two prescription stims works.

    I’m really curious whether the any of the study participants actually had ADHD. I’m gonna bet they were all NTs.