All better! Global democracy is now unfucked, yay!

/s

Stop it!

Okay, now do it some more…

Oh wow! 60 whole days of fees that no one will pay?? My cup runeth over

They were demonstrating how they are human scum

Republicans are really good at this thing called “collusion”

“Oh my God, what on Earth is that??? I accidentally dropped a dollar that I took from you! Better burn it before it accidentally helps somebody…”

What do you think the chances are that they kill social security’s payout mechanism without dismantling the process of collecting it and then treat their thievery like pennies from heaven?

Do it. I fucking dare you. It’ll be fun to watch a media powerhouse and a douche meth lab burn each other down.

At least you’ll never have to deal with frame realignment after a crash

I didn’t say she was smart or right. In fact, that’s kinda the point. These are the types of candidates flooding interviews sometimes.

No, because if it paid more, the sector wouldn’t be as flooded with middling underperformers. No joke, I knew a young lady around 10 years ago who studied education because “it’s an easy degree and they help shove you through because the bar is so low. No one wants to be paid so little to do so much. But if you can make it through your first two years, it’s almost impossible to fire you for anything that isn’t related to sex or violence.”

Her first week as an actual teacher in her own classroom with her own students, she kept posting her daily lesson notes from her whiteboard on Facebook. It only lasted a week because she got tired of everyone correcting her spelling and dates. She was a history teacher…

ETA: Don’t get me wrong, I 100% support public education to the point that I’ve dedicated the past decade of my life to working in public education even though I find kids incredibly overwhelming. That being said, I can support something and still point out that it’s broken.

Sue him

What’s that in freedom units?

I’d wait 3 hours for a feces-throwing tangerine colored ape. That sounds like a once-in-a-lifetime experience. If I get hit by the feces, I’ll be kinda sad though.

Trump on the other hand? Is it possible to wait negative hours?

Too late

They should double-warn him. These limp-wristed single warnings aren’t doing the trick. Maybe even triple-dog-warn him for good measure—no tag-backs.

I tried, failed, and my disappointment is immeasurable.

Nah, it’s shit-apples and shit-trees. I was just using pedantry as an excuse to make poop jokes.

Side note: the principal where I used to work would say “spotted dogs have spotted puppies,” about the kids who didn’t stand a chance to avoid a bad situation at school because they were raised by shitty parents.

I also once witnessed him telling a parent, “yes, I know your child is the most special kid at our school and that you’re a very special parent, which is why you feel you should be prioritized and why it’s okay for you to be rude. But I just need you to remember that I have all of these other special parents *sweeping arm gesture* whose kids are also the most special child at our school. So instead of endangering the other special kids, you’re just going to have to be a little bit patient like the wonderful special parent I know you can be.” Fucking epic.

“What was Windows even doing for us?”

Providing minimal malware protection while being actual malware?

Check it out, I’m a masshole! *toot*

I usually shit poop or farts. Sometimes both. I’ve yet to shit apples, but I’m intrigued by your directive. Any advice or procedures you can offer?